10 Worst Films of 2015
I love being a film critic, and one of the great privileges of the gig is being able to share with all of you my choices for the best movies at the end of each year. Yesterday, I posted my top-10 list for 2015, which I hope you enjoyed (and I’ve loved seeing all of your choices, as well). Today, we wallow in the muck with the 10 worst movies of the year, listed alphabetically. Hold your nose and let’s go …
“Aloha”
Cameron Crowe’s notoriously troubled romantic drama bears obvious signs of tinkering and re-tinkering. The story of love and redemption in Hawaii is trying to be several movies at once, and jarringly so, and it wastes the considerable charisma of its stars: Bradley Cooper, Emma Stone and Rachel McAdams. The dialogue so frequently strains for poignancy that it feels like a parody of a Crowe movie. Aloha means goodbye.
“Chloe & Theo”
You didn’t see this movie. Nobody saw this movie. I’m not sure why I saw this movie — oh, right, it was for a radio show I did (and we didn’t even end up talking about it). Anyway, Dakota Johnson stars as a New York homeless woman who befriends an Inuit man (Theo Ikummaq) who’s traveled from the Arctic to warn us all about climate change. Along the way, they hook up with a lawyer (Mira Sorvino) who helps them spread the word. It’s as terrible as it sounds: awkward, clunky, heavy-handed and consistently cringe-inducing. Feel free to continue avoiding this one.
“Entourage”
“Entourage” the movie is essentially an extended version of “Entourage” the TV show. Now, if you loved “Entourage” the TV show, this is probably thrilling news. But if you never watched the show, or only watched it in pieces, or stopped watching it once Vincent Chase and his buddies became obnoxious examples of everything that’s wrong with this town, then you will surely find this exercise pointless. These vapid bros learn nothing, they don’t change, they have no arc and they are never truly challenged.
“Fantastic Four”
Ugly, shoddy, poorly written and totally lacking in characterization or suspense, this latest incarnation of the Marvel Comic “Fantastic Four” is a case study in soulless summer spectacle run amok. Even my kid, who is obsessed with all things Marvel, didn’t like it. It’s clobberin’ time, indeed — on the audience.
“Hitman: Agent 47”
The latest big-screen adaptation of the video game about a genetically engineered assassin (which I’ve admittedly never played) is just a barrage of glossy, numbing carnage. And maybe that’s what you’re looking for in a movie like this, especially in late August (which is when it came out theatrically). But if I were you, I’d watch “The Man from U.N.C.L.E.” instead — the two films have essentially the same premise, and the latter is at least fun.
Watch the “What the Flick?!” review here
“Hot Pursuit”
If I had to rank the worst movies of 2015 in order, I’d put this shrill comedy at the top of the list — or the bottom, as it were. “Hot Pursuit” isn’t just flat, it’s actively frustrating. It’s simultaneously manic and lazy. It’s vaguely misogynistic but too tame to be truly offensive. And it’s a massive waste of two actresses who are appealing individually and might have had a crackling chemistry together: Reese Witherspoon and Sofia Vergara.
“The Last Witch Hunter”
Vin Diesel borrows some of John Travolta’s old “Battlefield Earth” facial hair for this ugly, incomprehensible fantasy-horror flick based on a Dungeons & Dragons character, which I guess Diesel enjoys playing. He stars as a cursed, centuries-old witch hunter who helps protect the Earth from the demons of the underworld under a tenuous truce. I’d rather watch a documentary about Diesel actually playing D&D than this.
Watch the What the Flick?! review here
“Pan”
Rarely does a movie’s title beg for bad reviews the way “Pan” does, but unfortunately, it’s all-too apt. This garish prequel to the legend of Peter Pan is just bizarre in every way, from Hugh Jackman’s flamboyantly evil performance as Blackbeard to Garrett Hedlund’s delivery as a young Captain Hook, in which he’s essentially doing an impression of Harrison Ford circa 1981. Joe Wright’s choice of contemporary music is inconsistent and jarring, and one of the clunkiest elements of all. But it did give me an opportunity to show my son the video for Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” So there’s that.
Watch the What the Flick?! review here
“Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2”
I gave this movie zero stars when I reviewed it for RogerEbert.com in April. It’s lazy, flat, unfunny and uninspired. I remain baffled as to why Kevin James likes this character so much that he’d want to play him in not one but two movies, because nobody else does.
“Pixels”
Speaking of Kevin James and his questionable career choices, here’s yet another movie in which he’s appeared alongside longtime friend and frequent collaborator Adam Sandler. It’s got kind of a clever premise: Classic video game characters come down from space to wreck havoc on Earth, and a group of nerds who were masters of those games must save us all from destruction. But it cheaply plays on ’80s nostalgia in lazy, obvious ways with a weak script.
Watch the What the Flick?! review here
Because I tend to read a lot of movie reviews I tend to avoid movies that the majority think are bad. Although three movies that disappointed me this year were:
1. Trainwreck (3/10) – I know I’m in the minority on this one, but I simply didn’t laugh at all throughout this movie. I wanted like it too since I generally enjoy Apatow’s movies and find Amy Schumer to be a funny comedian.
2. Spectre (4/10) – It appears Daniel Craig’s turn as James Bond is marked by movies that are either really good like Casino Royale (8/10) n Skyfall (9/10) or really bad ones like Quantum of Solace (4/10) n this one. I’d hate to think this is end for Craig as Bond since he’s easily the best Bond since Connery. Barring that great opening sequence this movie was mostly a dull old-fashioned Bond movie.
3. Jurassic World – While I’m not the biggest fan of these movies I was hoping this movie would bring some new life to the series. Unfortunately, this one just ends up being a stupid, boring, unnecessary reboot thats essentially a cash- grab. Oh well.
I agree that Trainwreck is bad. Of your three stars I give one to Lebron, one to Cena, and one to the scenes between Hader and Lebron. Schumer is the worst thing in her own movie. Not funny and a repulsive person. Typical bad direction from Appatow.
Spectre was hideously boring. Craig is a lousy Bond. Only better than Brosnan. Spectre is not a Bond movie but an action movie with a character named Bond. The only redeeming quality this movie may have is if the producers have Bond and the Seydoux character stay together. That was the implication at the end, as it was at the end of Licence to Kill with Bond and Bouvier seemingly in love. Sadly, that story line was not followed through on.
Jurassic World was ok for the dinosaurs, but the human parts stunk. Pratt is not an action hero and Howard is a horrible actress.
we cant forget either SAN ANDREAS. that one was laughable and painful and the worst
I did forget about it, actually! But it’s not quite AS bad as these other ones.
San Andreas is no more than excuse to get Alexandra Daddario first in a bikini then in a wet tank top. I imagine she would have been at least topless had this movie been rated R. And it is much worse than Entourage and Aloha.
I successfully avoided 80% on this list. I regretfully watched Mall Cop 2. I didn’t think Hitman Agent 47 was all that bad for a mindless action movie. I too went into it with no knowledge of the game or previous versions. It kinda had the same vibe as the Total Recall remake.
I’m still working on my list… but ‘American Ultra’ is sure to be on it!
Aloha doesn’t belong on the list. It wasn’t a good movie but the likeability of the actors keeps it from being a bad movie. Cliched, predictable, and schmaltzy yes. Worst movie of the year? No.
Let me go on record in saying I loved Aloha. Expected to hate it from all the criticism I’d read, but I didn’t. That scene where they’re driving along a lonely road at night and the spirits come out of the mist reminded me of many ghost stories my Hawaiian grandma used to tell me.
Human Centipede 3, Mortedcai, and Hot Tub Time Machine 2 all deserve spot here. I guess, Human Centipede 3 might get a bit more of a pass given lowered expectations and if you sat through Human Centipedes 1 and 2, I guess you know what you are getting.
Mortdecai was just an embaressment for everyone involved though. It just made me feel so sad for everyone that wasn’t Johnny Depp.
HTTM2 is one of the worst affronts though, given that the first one was better than I thought it would be. While Paul Blart 2 was horrible, Paul Blart 1 was about as medriocre as you expected it to be and Paul Blart 2 was about as bad as I expected. HTTM made me believe that there could be a mysogynist 80’s pastice about a bunch of douchey guys traveling back in time in a hot tub waiting from Crispin Glover’s hand to get chopped off that could still be a fun screwball comedy. Then they get comedians I really like involved in the utter stupidity of HTTM 2. I am still just angry at HTTM 2, and angry that I can work up any emotion to be angry at a movie about a stupid hot tub tardis.