Five Most — Clunky Movie Titles

“Ain’t Them Bodies Saints” is a gorgeous film — definitely one of my favorites this year — but it has an unfortunately clunky title. I realize it’s intended to harken to a time, a place, a mood. But I hope it’s not off-putting to potential viewers, because it’s very much worth seeking out.

Still, this got me thinking about other clunky movie titles. It was hard to narrow it down, but here are five (give or take) that just clang. Feel free to chime in with your favorites:

_ “Nights in Rodanthe” (2008):  Fine folks of Rodanthe, N.C.: I’m sure your tiny coastal town is a charming and lovely place, offering a quiet and quaint getaway for visitors of all ages. But as part of a movie title (or the title of the Nicholas Sparks book that inspired it), Rodanthe (pronounced roh-DAN-thee) does not exactly roll off the tongue. Richard Gere and Diane Lane find love later in life under contrived circumstances when they’re trapped together in a beachfront inn. And wouldn’t you know it? There’s a hurricane on the way.

_ “Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan” (2006): We also would have accepted “Precious: Based on the Novel `Push’ by Sapphire” (2009). At least with “Borat,” though, the clunky title is an intentional part of the gag — a reflection of the multicultural cluelessness of Sacha Baron Cohen’s goodnatured, roving-journalist character. The novelty of Baron Cohen’s undercover gonzo shtick was still firmly in place with this film; it’s been all downhill from there. Please enjoy this painfully awkward (and hilarious) extra scene from the movie. I feel so bad for this poor, unsuspecting massage therapist.

_ “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford” (2007): I love this movie so much, but man, is that title a mouthful. (It’s also the name of the novel that inspired it.) As in “Ain’t Them Bodies Saints,” Casey Affleck plays an outlaw with an old-West sensibility and earned an Oscar nomination for best supporting actor in the process — he is the Robert Ford at the end of that title opposite Brad Pitt’s Jesse James. It also earned a nomination for the great Roger Deakins’ gorgeous cinematography; the lighting in the nighttime train robbery alone deserved it. The rambling title is very much a part of the film’s mythology.

_ “Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo” (1984): It almost pains me to choose this one, because sticking the words “Electric Boogaloo” in the title of any sequel just makes it that much better. But really, if we’re being honest with ourselves, what is an electric boogaloo anyway? Is it a state of mind, like nirvana? This sequel to “Breakin'” actually came out in the same year as the original movie — seven months later, to be exact. But when an evil developer threatens to bulldoze the local recreation center — and only a team of plucky, determined breakdancers can stop him — there’s no time to lose in telling that story.

_ “The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!?” (1964): This one is kind of awesome, though, and very much in keeping with the tone of the film. Beatniks and strippers and gypsies and the undead — and it’s a musical! What’s not to like? The late, prolific cult director Ray Dennis Steckler, who stars under the pseudonym Cash Flagg, also was responsible for 1971’s “The Mad Love Life of a Hot Vampire” and 1979’s “The Hollywood Strangler Meets the Skid Row Slasher.” This is B-movie heaven, with its surreal images and sparkly costumes. It’s considered one of the worst films ever made, but that’s what makes it weirdly wonderful.