Fifty Shades of Grey

Fifty Shades of Grey Movie ReviewUniversal Pictures
Rated R for some strong sexual content including dialogue, some unusual behavior and graphic nudity, and for language.
Running time: 125 minutes.
Three stars out of four.

I liked “Fifty Shades of Grey,” and I am not ashamed.

I realize this is not the most popular opinion. The film has plummeted to 26 percent on Rotten Tomatoes as of this writing. And I don’t care. I went to a screening with a girlfriend of mine — a fellow school mom who’d also read all three books — we had a drink beforehand and giggled the whole way through.

This is probably the best way to experience “Fifty Shades of Grey” — slightly under the influence and with a large group — making it all the better to surrender to the guilty pleasure of the escape. But from a perspective of evaluating the actual quality of the content, Sam Taylor-Johnson’s film is a vast improvement over E.L.. James’ best-selling, page-turning source material. The first book (which I read for professional edification, I swear) was inane and repetitive, with an annoying interior monologue which reflected our heroine’s reactions to the outlandishly kinky situation into which she’d stumbled.

And yet I — and millions of other self-respecting, educated women — devoured it and couldn’t put it down. We had to find out what was going to happen next. We had to find out how far the innocent Anastasia Steele would go in this dark, sexual world.

Screenwriter Kelly Marcel has done yeoman’s work in stripping the text of all its adolescent idiocy (gone are Ana’s “inner goddess” and her exclamations of “Oh my!” and “Holy crap!”) but maintaining the lines, images and moments that the legions of fans would want to see. If there were a category for most-improved adaptation at the Oscars, Marcel would be the clear winner.

As an experience, though, “Fifty Shades of Grey” is a visual feast. Taylor-Johnson made her name as an artist before shifting to directing feature films with 2009’s “Nowhere Boy.” Here, she’s teamed up with cinematographer Seamus McGarvey — a two-time Oscar nominee whose work ranges from “Atonement” and “Anna Karenina” to “The Avengers” and “Godzilla” — to create a look that’s sleek, glossy and sensual. Merely the sight of billionaire bad boy Christian Grey’s closet sent shivers. The film is edited fluidly (especially in the much-anticipated sex scenes) and production designed beautifully. Costume designer Mark Bridges — who frequently works with Paul Thomas Anderson and David O. Russell — also deserves a special mention not only for recreating Christian’s crisp wardrobe but also for styling Anastasia in a way that vividly reflects her transition from a mousy college student to a young woman blossoming and finding her power.

So yes, “Fifty Shades of Grey” looks great. But you may have noticed that we haven’t talked about the actual plot. Or the relationship. Or the performances. As Anastasia, Dakota Johnson is a total find. She finds a spark and a spine that the character in the book woefully lacked, and she has terrific comic timing. (That’s something else about the film that makes it superior: It realizes this story is ridiculous in ways the book itself never could. It has an actual sense of humor.) Johnson facially resembles her father, Don Johnson, but she has a presence that’s reminiscent of her mother, Melanie Griffith; she has a similar sweetness and directness which are appealing. Johnson must reveal herself in more ways than one throughout the film and rises to the challenge every time. “Fifty Shades” will make her a star, and deservedly so.

And then there’s Jamie Dornan, who co-stars as the enigmatic and beguiling Christian Grey. At least, these are attributes he’s supposed to exude. He’s kind of a stiff (no pun intended). Sure, the former underwear model is handsome and muscular, and he’s really good at that thing where you reach back with one hand and pull your T-shirt over your head while flexing your abs at the same time. (He does this so many times, it could be a drinking game.) But he’s never as intimidating as he should be, despite Anastasia’s insistence that he is. Perhaps Dornan’s restraint is intentional; after all, the story is told through Ana’s eyes, and he’s supposed to be mysterious. But he’s also supposed to be impossibly sexy and irresistible, and that’s never the case — to the extent that the mind starts wandering to other actors who would have been a better fit. Charlie Hunnam originally was cast in the role, then changed his mind. (I always pictured a Matthew McConaughey type when I was reading the book — someone handsome and slick, but with a slightly dangerous vibe — but he’s too old. Christian is supposed to be 27.)

Yet Johnson and Dornan manage to create a decent and sometimes lively chemistry with each other — a topic which has inspired no shortage of gossip and speculation. This is especially true in the scenes in which they remain fully clothed, bantering and negotiating as they flirt, feel each other out and find some BDSM boundaries which are mutually acceptable.

A quick plot summary, for those who have been living under a rock: Anastasia Steele is a college senior who visits Christian Grey at his imposing Seattle office to interview him for the school paper on behalf of her sick roommate, Kate (Eloise Mumford). Christian is the enormously successful founder of some vague tech company who’s giving this year’s commencement address. He’s also a notoriously eligible bachelor. But when Ana staggers into his office and falls on her hands and knees, looking up at him nervously with her big, blue eyes, the secret dominant in him is instantly intrigued.

From there it’s a traditional, romantic tale of boy meets girl, boy seduces girl, boy makes girl sign a non-disclosure agreement, boy ties up, blindfolds and spanks girl. Boy also stalks girl, showing up uninvited when she’s out drinking with her friends or enjoying lunch in Florida with her mom . (She’s played by an underused Jennifer Ehle; Marcia Gay Harden similarly has little to do as Christian’s mother.) Christian famously “exercises control in all things, Miss Steele,” but the film definitely underplays the creepy, needy, power-mad elements of his personality — facets which were forged in his fucked-up childhood, which we’ll get to by book three.

But he also buys her a car! And takes her hang-gliding! And he provides the previously virginal Anastasia with unprecedented orgasms in the so-called Red Room of Pain. Much has been made of the perceived subversive, transgressive nature of Christian’s proclivities, but “Fifty Shades of Grey” is the rare, mainstream film that talks about sex — and the way people connect through sex — in refreshingly candid ways.

And it does end up being rather traditional in terms of the relationship dynamics that emerge. Christian and Ana meet each other halfway, but while she learns about the fun that can be had while blindfolded, he learns to open his eyes to the possibility of romance and even love. She’s the submissive in the equation, but she ultimately bends him to her will. And — spoiler alert! — by the third book, “Fifty Shades Freed,” there’s even marriage, a home and a baby. How shocking is that?

36 Comments on “Fifty Shades of Grey

  1.  by  Dan O.

    It had plenty of promise, but ultimately, that promise went out the window once I realized that there was hardly anything interesting to these characters. Good review Christy.

  2.  by  MovieJay (@MovieJay)

    Yes, yes, yes! I believe the hype machine was only useful this time at generating hype, not actual information. I was led to believe this was supposed to be wildly offensive stuff. Or that it reflects the fantasies of bored and lonely woman. Neither of those claims are true. In its own totally trashy way, the movie subverts its own patriarchal-dominated genre within the confines of traditional trashy romance tropes.

    It won’t win any Oscars and won’t find a home on my year-end list, but I certainly can’t call it bad. I can see how more literal-minded people might confuse it for bad, though.

    •  by  MovieJay (@MovieJay)

      …of A bored and lonely woman, I meant. Sowry.

  3.  by  Becca

    I liked your review. Thank you for your candid and honest take on this much anticipated film. I too am an educated woman who found the writing very blasé at times but I too could not put the books down. I will hopefully see the movie soon based off your review.

  4.  by  Rhonda

    Thanks for sharing. I felt the exact same way about the movie.

  5.  by  Karla

    It’s a Twilight fanfic!!! The history of this story needs to be made as public as the story is. Because the main characters are just alternate-reality Edward and Bella in an S&M relationship. It was never MEANT to be taken as serious literature because it was written for “lemons”. It wasn’t even good fanfic when it came out in 2009. I just feel like people are being dupped because there are thousands of people who read the Twilight fic (originally called Master and Servant) and know the story of how it became a novel. I guess it would one thing if the author cited her source material and then everyone would be like, “Oh, I see.” But they are putting this out there as original work when ALL of the characters were based on the Twilight universe. It feels so disingenuous to have it out there without transparency.

  6.  by  justin

    my fiance had been talking about this movie for MONTHS saying she couldn’t wait till valentines day for us to go see it….well all the hype about how she had read the books and couldn’t wait to see the movie actually had me somewhat excited thinking about how she’d be raring to go once we got home….well to say the least the movie absolutely sucked…sure lots of bondage and a small dose of romance/flirting that went along with it but this movie BORED me so bad im in the doghouse now because it was SO boring i actually,she claims i fell asleep and now she claims we need to take a break…lol…all because of some idiot took a supposedly kick ass freak book and ruined it to the point of boredom…i swear when the movie ended there were SEVERAL women who actually broke out in laughter, no doubt because of just how STUPID the movie ended up being…thanks a lot whoever you are who wrote,directed,and produced this film…may actually have cost me a true one of a kind relationship because the boredom level was just too much for me to handle…justin toole 387

    •  by  Christina

      Don’t worry Justin I agree with you by far the stupidest boring movie ever I almost fell asleep myself and if your girlfriend is going to break up with you over something as stupid as that then she is not meant for you. I think she is just taking it out on you because she knows your right and you had every right to fall asleep but she doesn’t want to admit it because she made a big deal about it and it was highly,highly disappointing so hang in there Justin I hope you find someone who is going to make you happy she obviously didn’t care enough about you to get mad over something so stupid especially when the movie was stupid.

  7.  by  TB

    Before claiming ” the rare, mainstream film that talks about sex”; see Australian film The Little Death. 5/5 for it.

    •  by  Trevor

      Take note of the word “mainstream”. Very few have heard of The Little Death. That’s not mainstream.

  8.  by  Michael Moore

    I’m curious whether you’ve seen Dornan in the TV series The Fall. He is really good in that, yet from the 50 Shades trailers (I haven’t seen the whole movie) I am not surprised to read that he comes off as stiff and dull in the movie. I was hoping that impression was just an artifact of the way the trailers were edited. It’s too bad because he really is capable of doing excellent work and holding his own in the company of Gillian Anderson. I wonder what went wrong here.

    Anyway, that’s for the good review.

    •  by  Michael Moore

      Uh, that was supposed to be “thanks for the good review.” Sorry!

    •  by  Elana

      He looks stiff because he HATED the movie. He thought it was gross and stupid…actually so did everyone else on the set. Imagine having to do something you really don’t Wang to, but signed a contract. That’s pretty much how everyone involved with the film feels…except for EL James.

    •  by  Lorraine Shaw

      Having read ’50 Shades of Grey”, I concluded that Jamie Dorman is an excellent actor…his facial expressions are fantastic…..you could tell what he was thinking as Christian Grey…Screenwriter, Kelley Marcel is to be congratulated in saving the plot from the annoying redundancies E.L. wrote over and over. Ms Marcel almost made a good movie of the plot she has to work with.

  9.  by  Christina

    I think this movie was by far the stupidest movie ever made and I have seen some really stupid movies before I think it should get 5 rotten tomatoes instead of 5 stars. It was by far the longest hour and 50 minutes of my life I could never get back. I read the books they are amazing and they should of just left it at that no movie should of came of this because you can’t really call it a movie I mean there wasn’t really a story the two main characters had no chemistry it is easy to throw two people together and have them “act” there way through and that is exactly what these two characters did they acted through the sex scenes I didn’t really see no spark and how unrealistic is it that Anastatia would actually be a senior in college and still be a virgin I mean really I am sorry but in todays generation there is no such thing as college virgins give me a break that right there was just where I was like this movie is so ridiculous and unrealistic it should be renamed 50 shades of stupid and unrealistic. So disappointed

  10.  by  Ryan

    My wife and I really enjoyed the movie, and I’m glad to see that we’re not alone! I especially hope this movie paves the way for more films willing to explore sexuality, specifically for women!

    •  by  anthony

      No wonder the divide between men and women is getting wider. All women do is complain about being objects….yet if a man doesn’t have a huge penis or a ripped body he is considered useless. This is not good and I really feel sad for my own children having to grow up in a society that cares very little for its young men. Hollywood is owned by women and gay men. There is no room for the avg white male anymore. I think that mars trip sounds pretty good at this point. Prostitution is on the rise for a reason. Dad always said watch out for the fat and flat women for a reason. Is their anyway we can start a movement to end suffrage.

    •  by  hudson

      You really need to watch more foreign films.

  11.  by  Elana

    What I hate about the books/film is that supposedly this is what “women want”. I hate that the media just paints with a broad brush like that. I hate that all my husband’s friends and coworkers suggested when he asked for Valentine’s Day ideas that he take me to see this. I’m offended that just because I’m a female I’m put in a bin and told what I should want. I have had plenty of “Christian Greys” come on to me in my single days, and I hate that kind of guy. 50shades isn’t every woman’s fantasy, and it certainly isn’t mine!

    •  by  David

      You are so delusional i just had to comment. You’ve had plenty of under 30 year old, very handsome, ripped billionaires come on to you in your single days? That’s interesting, because literally 0 of those exist in the world. Even if we tone it down to millionaires there’d be few men who check all those boxes.

      The whole plot is so retarded and unrealistic i just don’t understand how people actually like this. Everything from Chris Gray to the sex scenes was just completely absurd, not to mention boring.

  12.  by  Taryn

    I completely agree with your review! The people commenting above are not realizing the brilliance in the sarcastic humor that is featured in the film. The book had a great story idea, but the characters, their traits and the writing style were all stripped right from Twilight.. which also features repetitive descriptions and a klutzy-awkward girl who falls (in Ana’s case- literally) for a freaky, self-loathing adonis. Either way, the film did drag on a little longer than I would have liked. I also would never drag my boyfriend to a truly female-oriented film! Obviously an educated 31-year-old male who has never read the books would have zero interest in a movie that is clearly heavily dependent on the fact that the audience knows every detail about this book, so we have to make this for them.

  13.  by  David

    I haven’t watched the movie and don’t plan to, but I find strangely sexy that Christy liked it.

  14. Pingback: ’50 Shades of Grey’ review: It’s good enough as Jamie Dornan porn | Incinerater

  15.  by  christian

    Interstellar: 2 stars
    Fifty Shades of Grey: 3 stars
    Huh. That makes sense (sarcasm)

  16.  by  Kaylene

    I went to seethes film with my husband mostly as a joke, for entertainment. I did read the first 2 books and beginning of the 3rd. I kind of felt offended by how much society’s reaction is that women will be so turned on by it. From what I read, he picks out this ladies based on how closely they resemble his deceased crack addict mom so he can beat them, then have sex with them…. maybe I’m just odd but that does not turn me on, it seems very creepy and borderline incest. I noticed during the film they left out some of the earlier painful spanking she had and also the part where he puts butt rash cream on her afterwards, and they just made it seem like the sadism was very minor and extremely pleasurable for her- except for the ending. I also observe that the girl who plays Anastasia seems a little more into the sex scenes than Christian. She could have been better but it’s not really her fault since there was zero chemistry from the Christian-Robot and he honestly seemed like all his efforts were put into not screwing up his American accent that he couldn’t put any focus into the actual acting- maybe he should stick to modeling. I liked the humor in the film but then realized it took away from the sexual chemistry that the film is supposedly about. Also at my theater did the majority of the audience burst out laughing at the end.

  17.  by  Joe

    Actually i agree it’s a v interesting movie. The sets were art decor-ish awesome especially his house. And the movie was well-shot. Loved the glider ride too (Ana obviously enjoyed the moneyed ride l).

    I think many people have this fantasy of having a dark brooding rich man falling heads over heels for her. However it will be a better film if Ana was less shallow and reject his advances (at least initially). She liked Grey because he’s filthy rich. I also think she’s lying that she is a virgin (you will be a fool to believe her lol).

  18.  by  Jen

    Its not based on a true story, it is merely a fantasy that some will love, some wont mind and some will hate, similar to every other fictional story ever written. If you’ve read the books you become invested in the realtionship between the characters and how they evolve. The movie evolves too and this is supposed to be a review of the movie not a place to voice that this is or is not your fantasy. If you havent seen it dont write a review.

  19.  by  blaine

    Details about me first. I have a PhD and teach in a large university. The previous two movies I saw were The Imitation Game, and The Theory of Everything. I mention this because I suspect people think that viewers who liked Fifty Shades must be idiots who have lousy taste.

    I enjoyed the movie immensely. So did some who reviewed the movie at Slate and Salon, who seemed though to need to stipulate that it was lowbrow or trashy or whatever, and yet despite that they LOVED it. I suspect that the legions of critics who hated the film are simply too snobbish and too worried about being seen as easily amused to admit that they might have had lots of fun seeing it if they’d been younger and less jaded.

    The movie is a gorgeous visual treat, with beautiful locations and atmospheric moods, great set designs, lovely costuming, and one heck of an adorable, sexy and funny female lead, Dakota Johnson. Personally I thought the male lead was acceptable too, even if a young Mathew McConaughey might have been ideal.

    The sex scenes are erotic, light years better than porn, and the leads have relationship chemistry. Yes the concept of a young everywoman meeting a mysterious billionaire is fantasy but who does not mind a fairy tale sometimes on a friday night.

    •  by  Lorraine Shaw

      Blaine – good review but I take exception with not getting the feel of how good Jamie Dornan was as Christian Grey……he has the most expressive face I’m seen in years. I could read everything he was thinking with regards to Anastasia. I am looking forward to the sequel…….

  20.  by  lulu rongmei

    I read the book and loved it. Watched the movie and I don’t think there’s much to complain. Sure they downplayed the BDSM elements in the movie but really, if the sex scenes in the movie were to be played exactly as written in the book, then it would be no different then porn(although it was porn in print). But that subtlety in the movie was what made it sexy(and not vulgar. Big difference).And I don’t get why people are complaining about dornan being stiff and all that. Well if you must know, its because his character(as per the book) demands it. Christian grey is all dark and brooding and emotionally tortured in the book, it would do injustice to his character if dornan were to be all charming and vibrant and friendly.

  21.  by  Pat

    I read all three books. Yes, they make your eyes bleed, but that did not deter me from finishing the trilogy or watching the movie.

    First, let me state that I feel all the Jamie hate is a bit misplaced. First, the writer made such an effort into making Ana a better character, someone we could like, that she spent absolutely no effort in developing Christian’s character at all. Or so it seems.

    Now, enter into the factor that all the scenes where Christian was amused and passionate were watered down to mud. For one example, take the scene where he first punishment spanks her for rolling her eyes.

    In the book they had just had hot sex. Anna begs him to stay — he has one more condom, she reminds him. He says no and she rolls her eyes.

    So he (they are in the bedroom, remember — just had sex) pulls down her sweat pants, takes her over his knee and gives her a real punishment spanking. An 18 smack, true punishment spanking. And she is turned on; hot, I want sex right now, turned on. Just as turned on as he is. And they have hot, hot, earth shattering sex. It is then, when they are both panting, breathless and post orgasmic, that Christian tells Ana, “welcome to my world”.

    An explanation about the sweat pants for those who haven’t read the books, which can be very confusing since they just had sex. She sleeps in those sweat pants and had just gotten dressed since he was dressing to leave.

    From Fifty Shades of Grey:

    “Oh, Ana!” he cries out loudly as he finds his release, holding me in place as he pours himself into me. He collapses, panting hard beside me, and he pulls me on top of him and buries his face in my hair, holding me close.

    “Oh, baby,” he breathes. “Welcome to my world.”

    We lie there, panting together, waiting for our breathing to slow.”

    ~~~~~~

    Afterward, she can’t look him in the eye. He spends some time with her, rubs oil on her bottom and makes sure she is okay. Which she insists she is. Once she leaves she has to deal with the humiliation that this man has just spanked her. She has to deal with the fact of how much it turned her on. When she gets the phone call from her mother (which they did feel was important enough to include), she becomes tearful. After hanging up, all her emotional feelings overwhelm her and she ends up sobbing. He emails her, telling her how in awe of her he is because she took the punishment spanking. She tells him she’s not happy because he did not spend the night. (not because he spanked her, mind).

    He comes back, finds her sobbing and ends up spending the night, just cuddling and sleeping. When she wakes up, her thoughts aren’t about the spanking, but the fact that she has had him in her bed one more night when he doesn’t sleep with anyone. And the fact that this scene happens before she shows up at his house to go to the playroom the first time is very important in terms of her first playroom session, their relationship and how it progresses.

    What did the screenwriter give us of this entire scene? You might not recognize it from the movie so I’ll help out. They are in the living room talking. No sex beforehand. She rolls her eyes and he brings her across his knee and gives her 3 really mild little swats. He’s smiling. She’s smiling. No one is turned on, he doesn’t stay and it’s no big deal. In the meantime, we get a very monotone, lifeless “welcome to my world” from the Christian character.

    All the life, the passion and the progression is taken out of the original scene. This was one of the important scenes that should have been portrayed as closely as possible to the book. All of Christian’s power, passion and actions are watered down to something as lifeless and boring as changing your cat litter box. But how the hell is that Jamie’s fault? He had nothing to work with. His scenes were watered down, as lifeless as the way the director obviously wanted him to portray them.

    And it’s not the only scene that was changed to the point of boredom from the screenwriter and director. As I said, they worked so hard to make sure Ana had a personality and more likable, that they made Christian so unbelievably boring by cutting his lines, his passion, his part of the story down to nothing.

    And, to be clear, Dakota (and I’m not taking anything away from her) didn’t write her part. She didn’t make Ana likable or witty. The screenwriter did. Jamie didn’t make Christian boring and lifeless, the screenwriiter and director did. And both the story and chemistry suffered because of it.

    Even in the first scene at his office, they took out much of the dialog that gave that scene life. In the book, Christian was trying not to laugh at her. He was amused. He knew she wasn’t Kate before Ana entered his office.

    From his perspective (which is given in another section of the book) this is what he was thinking:
    “Showtime, Grey. Let’s have some fun.”

    All the interaction that made this interview fun were simply deleted with the screenplay. In the movie, at the end of the interview, you can’t see why either one of them would want to see the other again.

    And before anyone reminds me that the film was too long and every scene could not be included, the point I’m making is that the *wrong* scenes were used or changed. Instead, they gave us many repetitive scenes we didn’t need and left out the ones that actually told the story, and gave both characters personality and depth.

    And, yes, it sounds like I’m a Jamie defender. I guess in this aspect I am. But, I’ve seen Jamie’s other work. I keep hearing “underwear model”. But he’s been an actor for some time. He was fantastic in the television series, “Once Upon the Time.” In “The Fall”, he does himself proud and brings the role of Paul Spector to life with finesse and courage. In the final episode, the interaction with him and Gillian Anderson is chilling. Every little facial expression, every line, tells us more about this man than you can imagine.

    He has also done some movies. He was very good in “Racing Hearts.” Yes, I’m sure he struggled with his accent since he has a very pronounced Irish accent in real life. But remember, the director could have stopped filming, taken Jamie aside and told him that she wasn’t getting what she needed for the character. She could have done a retake until she got what she needed to make the scenes sizzle. Since she didn’t, I can’t help but think that this is how she wanted him to play the character. Which made the scene fizzle instead.

    But you can’t take all the passion and character out of a role, and then blame the actor because that’s how it’s played.

    They were so worried about making the sex scenes hot, that they ended up being much too cold. There was so much choreography and edited footage, that the sex scenes just weren’t exciting. There was very little foreplay. Really, just a few kisses down her stomach? In the virgin scene in the book, Christian’s foreplay and the way he talked her into a near orgasm before he ever touched her intimately, would have made that a much hotter scene. Instead, what did we get? A scene watered down to tediousness and boredom.

    As for the first scene I talked about, I know the actors were probably uncomfortable as hell with the sex scenes, but not all of them had to been showed. The one where he comes in and uses the ice could have been deleted. It really didn’t do anything to push the plot along. Instead they could have used the spanking scene. The way it was told in the book was that he wanted to *f**k* her on the hood of her new car. Then they go into the bedroom to have that first round of hot sex.

    Instead of showing another sex scene, they could have gone from the car scene and cut away to the bedroom where it shows him getting up after the sex, making the actors look a little breathless and sweaty, and that would have conveyed what we needed to know without them having to strip down and actually act it out for the cameras.

    Then, after they showed the spanking, they could have done that sex scene instead of the boring ice scene. That would have been super hot after the punishment spanking (as it was in the book), That would have shown how turned on Ana was, which explains more about her feelings and character when she shows up for the Red room the first time. And wouldn’t a breathless, panting, post orgasmic Christian telling Ana, “welcome to my world” told us a lot more about Christian Grey than the lifeless “welcome to my world” written by the screenwriter and given to Jamie to play?

    •  by  Sarah

      You’re review was absolutely the best review on here. Great job! I felt the same in watching the movie after reading all three books!! Thank you!!

  22.  by  jamie

    I look at it as a romance. Strictly that. She couldn’t get him to love her the way she wanted. He couldnt either. But deep down at the end its jus a love story woth sex involved like any other movie. The kinky sex focus is jus a game they both lost. Jus like love. Its unique style is what make it interesting to me. Sex play a big part in relationship. But jus like a man want to have sexual relationship and nothing more. Sometimes u fall in love but usually the female cant stay for the good sex becus we are emotional. Men dnt mind….im young. Jus my view. Its all bout falling in love and being hurt in the end knowing what could have happened. Pain along with the pleasure